do not let yourself be ruled by your heart,for the heart is prone to folly..and folly leads to despair..

be it cursed for one to have a heart which pounds louder than the one alongside it?be it cursed for one to feel more deeply than the other?shame on the first then to wear its heart on its sleeve.or is it so?when beatrice joanna conspired with de flores in "the changeling" to kill off her bethrothed just so she could be with the one she truly loved,alsemero..why is it that it had to be she to take fate and justice into her own hands.could not alsemero in his superior position as man take a more domineering role to prove his proclaimed love?and how is it that beatrice joanna in sacrificing her honour merely to be with the one she loved ends up severely persecuted in her lover's eye.
a friend of mine said that a friend of hers said that,every minute,every hour,every day,every week...every moment..it is always the woman on the losing end.equality still has a long way to go then.is the fairer sex then the weaker sex?weak to let your heart so loose as to feel,weak to let your heart soar and take its own fancies,weak to let it rule you..liv tyler said in the movie"that thing you do".."shame on me for closing my eyes everytime we kissed.."i don't remember the rest but i took it to mean,shame on me that i was so in love and closed my eyes to savour the moment that i didnt see that the feeling wasnt mutual.i remember tearing at that line.
i still hang on to fairytales.to the idea of happily ever after.the prince charming may be elusive though.and so as the fairer sex we are supposed to put on an iron mask,cage our silly fancies to retain any semblance of self respect or self worth...?

"govern your passions before they govern you "..


scorn and mock the very heart
that pines and longs for you
until the day you find yourself
alone and bruised and blue
pining for the very heart that has flitted off elsewhere
to pastures greener than the one which simply didnt care
scoff and dismiss the very one
who cared and gave her all
until the day you look around
and see there's no one when you fall
no loving arms to pick you up and wash away the pain
you lay amongst ur useless treasures underneath the rain

.............

i just don't know what to write or how to write.all that swirls within me and drags my heart to its pits flow not in words.articulation fails me...till a brighter day..

2005

each second you can be reborn,
each second there can be a new beginning,
it is choice
it is your choice...

you are everything that is,
your thoughts,
your life,
your dreams come true,
you are everything you choose to be.
you are as unlimited as the endless universe.

my theme for 2005.