Thursday, September 29, 2005

september birthday tributes..

bearing in mind how busy i am, gone are the days when i used to make specially handmade birthday cards. however i do still call, sms, send a funky hoopsandyoyo card (check them out at hoopsandyoyo.com). anyways, i know how min always has a whole entry for birthday tributes and i think thats soo cool.(too bad she hadn't started yet when it was my bday.sniff..march baby=p)
so..here's my version, in chronological order..

september 7, 1985

sharon lim shu fang
lit classmate and fellow en2101 and el2101 group member. a lovely girl who devotes her life to Christ. we did the silliest things to console ourselves when we didnt get A lit essays..yup. those ass-ays=p
happy birthday gal. love ya.

september 11, 1981

low wei zheng
the one who gets to hold my hand and my heart=p. an amazing, talented individual who dazzles all he meets, has a heart of gold and an exceptional mind. i could go on but heh, shy=p
happy birthday dearest. i love you.


september 24, 1984

christine peh su yin
classmate for two years, friend for longer. distance and separate lives have rendered our friendship outdated but i will always remember you, will always remember your birthday and will continue to hope for the best for you even as i hope we can meet up again soon and have the fun we used to=p. significant memory; sitting on the stairs near the high jump equipment while skipping accounts class in form 5 and talking bout 'deep' stuff. a real beauty who has real class.=). happy 21st gal! luv ya!


september 27, 1984

rueben james clarke
schoolmate for 2 years, fellow disciplinarian (haha), friend for longer. i've watch this handsome bloke grow from being such an ass into hmm, still a bit of an ass, nah but i do recall the change in which you seemed to have gained a truer, better heart or at least just chipped some of the ice around it away. a truly dynamic personality, natural leader, and im proud to say a good friend. oooh, a charmer too;) loves the mirror though, and his reflection=p..
happy 21st birthday ruebs.=D


september 29, 1984

stephanie chin chu yee
playmate in std 3, classmate in std 4, but our friendship blossomed after i left kl huh. so did her beauty. as you can see. she's beautiful on the inside too. and we have great fun with our gal nites, or outings(ooh, remember running out of ming court hotel in port dickson demanding to change hotel because we were convinced it was haunted=p). i missed many patches in your life dear, but well, many many years more to catch up, eh. happy 21st! luv ya..

" the journey between who we once were and who we are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place.."

the long long road..II

so..a while back i was lamenting about the long long road and commiserating about how i got knocked off my pedestal by my own folly. yes, i was referring to my scholarship. after a tumultous period of self-doubt, self-berating, non-self berating=p, etc etc, time has brought me here and now. let me use the emails to tell the story..

From:
Sent: Thu 7/14/2005 11:45 AM
To:
Cc:
Subject: NUS/ASEAN UNDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIP 2004/2005

Ref: R29-196/56M

Dear Student

NUS/ASEAN UNDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIP 2004/2005

Under the rules of the NUS/ASEAN Undergraduate Scholarship, your scholarship award can be terminated if your progress in your course is not satisfactory. Scholars are expected to maintain a credible academic performance throughout their course of study.

In order to hold the scholarship award throughout your course of study, you must attain a Cumulative Average Point [CAP] of at least 3.50 in each semester. You have obtained a CAP of less than 3.50 in Semester 2 of Academic Year [AY] 2004/2005 and in one or more of the previous semester(s). Thus, your scholarship has been terminated with effect from AY2005/2006.

We would like to know the reason(s) for your unsatisfactory performance. Please complete the attached 'Renewal Exercise Form' and email it to Ms Siti Fatimah Mahmood at: regsfm@nus.edu.sg within ten working days from the date of this letter/email. You should also submit the relevant supporting documents, if any.

If you need financial assistance, you may consider applying for the Tuition Fee Loan [TFL] by downloading the form at: http://www.nus.edu.sg/registrar/info/financialaid/loans.htm. For enquiries on the TFL, please contact the Office of Finance at 68745051.

You may also consider applying for the NUS Study Loan [NUSSL]. You are allowed to apply for it now at: http://www.nus.edu.sg/registrar/info/financialaid.htm even though the application deadline is over. You should apply latest by end-July 2005. For enquiries on the NUSSL, please contact our Office at: 68742870/68747830.


Yours faithfully

.......................................... (Ms)
Senior Administrative Officer

Registrar's Office
National University of Singapore
University Hall

(utter shock, followed by crippling despair..this was the day before my flight back to sg)

From: Goh I-Mei
Sent: Saturday, July 16, 2005 12:53 PM
To: .................
Cc: ...................
Subject: RE: NUS/ASEAN UNDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIP 2004/2005


Dear Mdm,

Attached is the form required,I will personally make arrangements to come and discuss my situation with Ms Autumn Ong is possible, as i would like to appeal for the scholarship.

Regards,
Goh I-mei


(a hasty, panicked letter)

From:

Sent:
Sun 7/17/2005 3:37 PM
To:
Goh I-Mei
Cc:

Subject:
RE: NUS/ASEAN UNDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIP 2004/2005
Attachments:
View As Web Page

Dear I-Mei

We have considered your wish for a review of your scholarship renewal status and regret to inform you that the decision made by the scholarship administrator is final and no appeal is allowed as you do have extenuating circumstances that lead to your poor performance. You may wish to consider applying for the loan schemes to help you defray some of the costs of your education for the rest of your course.

Best regards
Autumn Ong Cheng Swee (Ms)
Senior Administrative Officer, Registrar's Office, NUS
Tel: (65) 68742319 Fax: (65) 67786371
Website: http://www.nus.edu.sg/registrar
Important: This email is confidential and may be privileged. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete it and notify us immediately; you should not copy or use it for any purpose, nor disclose its contents to any other person. Thank you.

(sheer tragedy, followed by paralysis...until wei zheng helps me construct the next email)



From: Goh I-Mei
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2005 12:07 AM
To:.......
Cc:.....
Subject: RE: NUS/ASEAN UNDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIP 2004/2005



Dear Madam,

Thank you for replying even on a Sunday. Please allow me to explain my poor performance again, as my submission of the review form was done in a very panicked state:

"a failure to grasp the concept of writing good academic literature essays,however towards the latter part of last semester I managed to get A’s and B+ for my essays"

This was carried forward from my first semester, as I had trouble adjusting to the rigours and style of essay-writing for the Faculty of Arts & Social Sciences. However, as I mentioned, my essays have improved greatly to the extent that I have begun to achieve A's and B+'s. I promise you that in this coming academic year, I will consistently obtain such grades for my essays and CA's

"Hall activities"

I have cut down significantly on Hall activities. In fact, I only participated in soccer in semester 2, which I knew would end by mid-January, allowing me to focus on my studies. (This is verifiable with the Raffles Hall JCRC). As mentioned, I will no longer aim to stay in Raffles Hall, and so I will devote my time to my academic progress only.

"Picked the wrong module for me -el 2101.it pulled my CAP down a lot even though I spent a lot of time on it especially for the many CA’s we had to do"

This was a mistake on my part. I will choose my modules much more carefully in the near future.

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that my semester average has improved by 0.7 from 2.8 (in Sem 1) to 3.5 (in Sem 2) (giving an overall CAP of 3.15). This is an improvement of one and a half grades. Please allow me ONE semester to display the exact same improvement again of 0.7, and my CAP will rise comfortably above 3.5; that is to say, allow me another chance so that I will obtain a semester average of at least 4.2, and my overall CAP will be at least 3.5. In fact, I aim to consistently obtain semester averages of around 4.5 so that I may ultimately graduate with at least an upper division second class honours.

I implore you to grant me probation for one more semester, even if you withhold the scholarship allowance for that semester while I prove to you that I can improve my grades so as to be worthy of the ASEAN-NUS scholarship. This is because my parents will not allow me to continue studying in NUS without the scholarship. I am aware that there are alternative forms of financing the costs of education, but my parents will not consider them. When I first got the scholarship, it was a dream come true for me because it gave me the only possible opportunity to come and study in NUS. Please give me one last chance to protect that dream and to give back to NUS by achieving excellence.

Please allow me at least an interview, so that I may convey my resolve to deliver all that I promise above.

Thank you for your time and kind attention.


Yours faithfully,
Goh I-Mei

(fingers crossed, eyes all cried out..or so i thought)

From: ............
Sent: Mon 7/18/2005 12:20 PM
To: Goh I-Mei
Cc:
Subject: RE: NUS/ASEAN UNDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIP 2004/2005

Dear I-Mei

I will discuss with my manager on your appeal and let you know if we can consider reviewing your appeal a 2nd time by this week. No promise at this stage as if we allow an exception, we have to do so for all other similar cases which might not be possible.



Best regards

....................... (Ms)

Senior Administrative Officer, Registrar's Office, NUS

( a glimmer of hope ..)

From: Goh I-Mei
Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2005 11:10 PM
To: ...................
Subject: RE: NUS/ASEAN UNDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIP 2004/2005



Dear Ms Ong,



Could you please tell me whether you have been able to consider reviewing my appeal? Is it possible for you to grant me an interview this week? Have you had the chance to read the letters of recommendation written for me by Profs Walter Lim and Valerie Wee?

The semester starts tomorrow and my parents are pressuring me about this matter. They do not want me to stay on campus, or in Singapore for that matter, any longer than I need to. I have been trying my best to persuade them to let me stay, but have met with a lot of resistance.



I really hope that you could at least reconsider my appeal. As mentioned, my appeal/review form was not completed in the best state of mind, and hope that you could put that form aside, and consider my letter dated 18 July 2005 as my proper appeal.



Thank you for your time and kind attention.





Best Regards,

Goh I-Mei

( two weeks have passed. anxiety engulfs my nights. more tears of frustration of anger at myself)

From:
...................
Sent:
Wed 8/3/2005 5:22 PM
To:
Goh I-Mei
Cc:

Subject:
RE: NUS/ASEAN UNDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIP 2004/2005
Attachments:


Dear I-Mei

Would you be able to come for a review session tomorrow at the office opposite the Student Service Centre, Engineering Blk E3A? You can come between 9 am – 11.30 am.



Best regards

................ (Ms)

Senior Administrative Officer, Registrar's Office, NUS


( finally finally finally, they will at least see me..more hope)

alas. at the interview, while she seemed to have faith in me and was empathetic, she told me point blank that there is no way the scholarship could be renewed this sem. She did however say that my only hope would be the very very slim possibility of them putting me on suspension which is very very rare for someone with my track record. however, due to my marked improvement she would appeal on my behalf. i very impassionately told her that i could and would seriously pull up my grades to the required 3.5. i think she felt for me. at least a bit.

after the session, i called my mum. long talk. etc. parents decide to let me stay on at NUS, one last chance.

weeks of waiting and hoping...for that suspension. it was all i could hope for. a last chance to at least get the scholarship back. and with it, my sense of worth (in a way)

From:
...................
Sent:
Fri 8/26/2005 5:19 PM
To:

Cc:

Subject:
SUSPENSION OF NUS/ASEAN UNDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIP AY2005/2006


Ref: R29-196/56M

Dear Student

SUSPENSION OF NUS/ASEAN UNDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIP AY2005/2006

We have earlier informed you that your scholarship has been terminated with effect from this Academic Year 2005/2006. However, after a further review, we have decided to SUSPEND your scholarship for Semester 1 of AY2005/2006. In the event that you are able to attain a CAP of 3.50 and above at the end of this semester, your scholarship will be reinstated as at Semester 1 of AY2005/2006. However, if you are not able to obtain a CAP of 3.50 and above at the end of this semester, your scholarship will be terminated and no further appeals will be considered.

If you need financial assistance this semester, you may consider applying for the Tuition Fee Loan [TFL]. The application form can be obtained from the Student Service Centre, Level 1, Engineering Blk E3A. You are required to bring along this email when you proceed to the Office of Finance to collect the application form. More details of this loan can be found at:

http://www.nus.edu.sg/registrar/info/financialaid/loans.htm. For enquiries on the TFL, please contact the Office of Finance at 68745051.

You may also consider applying for the NUS Study Loan [NUSSL]. To apply for it, please inform me via email latest by 31 August 2005. More details of this loan can be found at the above-mentioned website.

Best regards

......................(Ms)

Senior Administrative Officer, Registrar's Office, NUS



( I did get it. despite my horrible track record. i thank God for being so gracious. i thank autumn for bothering to help me. i thank my family for giving me another chance. i thank wei zheng for believing in me and helping me put my earnestness in words that would speak to the board. )

and thus i began my semester. my new lease of my nus career. plonked back onto this long long road. it seems prettier now though. this road. at least i get to walk it. and i know everything happens for a reason. it's week 7 of this semester. I think i'm doing okay. definitely much better than before. potential distractions are dangled before me, and everyday i face the choice of doing my work or somethign else and everyday i try to differentiate between having a little downtime and relaxing for a bit or sheer slacking. positions are offered to me, and i dodge them despite my hyper interest in it ,like being lit society events head or being a part of this year's raffles hall production or just spending a half hour more playing cards at tea. and eveyrday i try to do the right thing. i try to engage myself fully in my work. i just hope its enough and i want to double it. double the effort, double the motivation, double the determination. and i hope all of you will be rooting for me. encourage me, cheer me on and keep me in your prayers.( and please, please forgive me if i don't blog enough or chat enough or sms enough or have lunch with you enough. you know me, i would love to. and last sem, i would gladly leave my studies to listen to a troubled friend pour her heart out. but now, i have to be steadfast in pressing on towards my goal. and i hope you all understand=)..)

and this time, i'm having fun working hard..that's what the road is about,..the journey. not the destination.

brief snippets to get me going..

it's been a while. too long=p. so much so that most things which have been bubbling in me to be told would seem stale by now. where do i begin? forget it. if you're expecting a chronological update, throw that thought out the window. sorry. it just seems...nvm. just not me.

so.. a while back i spoke of venice, of austria, of olomouc where wei zheng went backpacking. he took loads of pictures of untamed daisies for me=D. for those who don't know daisies are my favourite flower.

it would be absolutely lovely to have daisies happily growing beneath my window..



aren't they pretty??







okay..more lovely landscapes which i would love to take in with my own eyes.

anddd..ta-dah. he graduated! i am so proud of him=)
doesn't he look adorable? hee.



okayy. moving on. *removes goofy grin and sappy stuff*


p/s aack. the captions didnt go where i wanted them to.. you see why i dont post many pics????