" and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand.."
it has been a while, and to me it feels like ages. i do feel like i have aged a lot in the past month or so. but i'm grateful that i've withstood it all, and am looking forward to something bright, living in a bit more brightness now, after a phase of darkness where all i could feel was a shadow hanging over me. life's lessons are never for nothing and harsh as they seem, every phase passes, as emily dickinson said, this too will pass.
i thank God for people who seem to understand, people who do understand and people who try to. the NUS life and everything surrounding it, was truly a kaleidoscope of experience for me, one i'll look back at with a whirlwind of emotions and a wealth of lessons.
people ask if i'm okay. hmm, interesting question. i am of course okay by now. i didnt feel okay for a time. but i will never be the same. (thank god for that, what are lessons for then if not to change us and to mould us)
even now words cannot convey what i feel, and what i have felt from that point till now, then, where my biggest fear actually came true, and now when its all beginning to make more sense, why my path got re-routed.
being offline has made me look to my journal a lot to let out all my thoughts and it has been refreshing, i intend to keep up the writing regularly eventhough i may not become a writer.
seemingly random thoughts..
anyways, happy chinese new year to all. have a happy and prosperous year=)
p/s.. the title..the inexhaustible multiplicity of experience is something one of my lecturers in nus kept raving about in twentieth century lit, it was one of the great modernist tendencies to go on about experience that can be revisited and which take on a different angle each time it is revisited..etc etc..=p
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3 comments:
Hey, Mei. I am proud of you on the way you carry yourself through this season. I'm sure God has mighty things in store. I believe you will prosper wherever you go as you continue to lean on him and trust in all His ways. Hope to catch up with you sometime soon. Take care *hugs*.
Hey dude. I don't believe anyone will trully understand what another person is going through unless he or she is in that person's shoes (and yours are probably manalo blahniks - bad joke), however, I understand that you're a person whose determination is so strong and you will overcome all odds and obstacles to emerge the champion and YOU my friend are going to have the LAST laugh not to mention the biggest and the longest.
I toast to that, and I drink to you. Happy Chinese New Year Gong Xi Fa Chai.
*sounds like a rant eh? well, pardon me; amateur philosopher in the making here.
dearest, *hugs*
i'd write, i promise!! very, very soon okay.
Blessed New Year =)
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