in the span between then and now

much has happened.

this is the biggest understatement.

my life has changed drastically.

i did it.

God did it.

they allowed it.

i travelled quite a bit. like a whole lot in fact when juxtaposed with my total travellers' miles in the 24 years before.

there was new zealand. 

oh the sights. the scenery.

there was the travel bit. and the journey itself. (spiritual journey as that fashion designer from london says) with my emotional baggage.

and the finally visiting marie leg of the trip which was sublime.

so many things about this trip was sublime.

so much so that the stories from here will form my first book. (no joke)

other travels included kl, kuantan, jakarta. my first visit to indonesia really, to rebuild family ties with someone and taste the life there. caught up a fair bit with old old friends in kl and had  a great time doing so. 

i have relocated to singapore. awaiting my return to university come august. meanwhile i have a job. a rather decent one too. celebrated a milestone. 

all the while, adjusting, adapting. spanning my wings. i carry in my heart, a heavy bag of sadness. i try to stuff it deep, wedge it away so i can breathe. so i can live. so i can move on and slowly think of how to make amends. how to mend bridges. 

during the new zealand trip, the pain was at its most intense, nay it comes back sometimes in sudden spurts, but then it was fresh, it was new, it was raw. and all i could do was look around at the beauty. surrounding. every corner of that land. and see God's big smiling face.

and then i could rise above it. 

and then there was christmas. i desperately tried to recreate some semblance of christmas as i knew it. and it was ok. christmas was alright.

it is a new year now. i have had my say. what little i could muster. it is far from fixed. but i can look ahead. to brighter times in that particular pasture and thank my God for bringing my through.

for still putting bright lights and pillars of hugs in my way. good friends old and new. near and far. and my patient perpetual companion. 

it is a new year now. 

and in the span between then and now.

much has happened.

here's wishing all of you a fabulous 2009!