today is tomorrow's yesterday...

time flies..i've always thought of the passing of time in phases.and i associate a certain time frame with the phase i go through at that particular time and when i look forward to a particular event i would count ii in reference to the same time frame in the past.for example,when i was looking forward to stpm(or dreading it)i would think..one month more...,exactly one month ago such and such happened...and's that 's how i would measure the length of that time frame.and i would somehow always be looking forward to something or other.these days,im so content living in the present..every day is a new giftbox just waiting to be unwrapped,so much so that i don't longingly await a certain future date but just take it as it comes along.each and every day which God grants me...just waiting to unfold.even with it's disappointments and feelings of inadequacies(which are so haunting me now!)..even with the challenges which rise before me higher than i can see,even with the looming fears of failing to achieve excellence in my studies(the sole reason im here),,even with the imbalance i am sometimes faced with in my life here..with all these elements present in my life...i am yet joyous..i am afraid to attribute this distinct contentment to one particular factor,and am unsure if i should relate it to various factors and if so what these various factors are..all i know is that this is a time of my life where i am truly living.each day brings forth stumbling blocks before which i falter,and grasp for stability again..and it is this regaining of a centre that makes the experience a lesson.

and yet time flies.in spite of everything yes,,.i am stumbling.my literature lecturer has put me in a place where i am questioning my love of literature itself and my believed affinity and proficiency in it.he says "i suggest more than i articulate an d exemplify more than i explain..".and yet after the initial humiliation coupled with indignation,i press on and insist i love literature.i love the art of words coming together in a symphony defined not by the writer but by the reader,as the writer helps suggest ideas by conjuring a certain set of images and evoking a certain string of experiences within the reader.i insist i can be good at it simply because i love it.surely passion can ignite excellence.that has after all been one of my beliefs by which i have come thus far in life.my subjects seem further from my "fingertips" than ever before.at least it seems so,but by faith(hopefully not sheer complacency and stupidity) i shall attempt to put myself back on track and truly feel as if i deserve this scholarship.after all,today is tomorrow's yesterday..

reach
my heart says
even as my hands remain wrapped tightly
behind my back

eyes roving
anywhere but here
where fate calls them

stance wavering
teetering towards an uncertain nothingness
where fulfillment is a void

time ticks on
mind wondering as it wanders
what are u waiting for

reach
my heart says
seize the breath of time
chemical desires
fear snuffed out

reach
my heart says
for the stars beyond the dark abyss
incandescent night after night
today is after all
tomorrow's yesterday..


..................................................................................................................=)