im not a 2!i'm a 5!!!

You Are the Helper

2 You always put on a happy face and try to help those around you. You're incredibly empathetic and care about everyone you know. Able to see the good in others, you're thoughtful, warm, and sincere. You connect with people who are charming and charismatic.

What number are you?

or am i standing still..?

have you ever had the feeling when your mind along with evrything else around you tells you something,tries to shove you towards a general direction,a particular action..the air is pregnant with the reminder,coaxing you..,the season is just right..in fact the sands of time swiftly glide through your very fingers,as if that wasnt enough ,the hands of the clock tick increasingly loudly,its rhythm fast blending into a loud blare in your head,encroaching into the very recesses of your mind and...all you seem to be doing about it is .....
absolutely nothing.i mean the time and thought spent on the looming fear greatly outweighs the actual time doing something about it.

it makes me wonder.have i deceived myself into thinking that i have always been focused,and self-motivated,unconsciously driven by the need and desire to capitalize on whatever skills and gifts i believe myself to possess.or does fear and the possiblity of letting myself down further induce complacency..and numbness to an extent.sigh.so many things make me wonder these days.its like im taking stock of some of the things that i have subscribed to all this while and questioning the basis of it all.

all i know is..that im not so sure what i know anymore.sigh.who am i?am i still me?of course i am,right.i've always been sure of who i am.or have i?and does having always been something denote continuing to always be that.no question,no doubt,no uncertainty?and do question actually guarantee answers,.after all you can't know the answers till you learn to question..right?well,i think so.

somehow i always manage to pick up momentum and take flight and soar,not because of me..but because of God.but surrender without the act of giving up control is nothing.so,time passes.pages flip,exam papers are probably being printed.i refuse to be stagnant,i refuse to be complacent.but please oh please,..will the rest of me comply and stop standing still...

my blogging personality..

I took the Blogging Personality Quiz at About Web logs and I am...

The Writer
Words captivate me. And, I like to capture words. Blogging enables me to write often. It also provides a place for me to share what I write with a reading public. I can be funny, inspiring, intelligent, cynical, or morbid. It doesn't matter what I write about in my blog. It only matters that I write.

sunrays and raindrops...

riight.so i owe it to myself to post something decent after that string of mindless quizilla results.i don't even know why i bother.since my teenage years when i used to so look forward to reading seventeen or cosmogirl and take the silly quizzes i realized that i dun quite fit into any sub divided category of anything.the complete,complexity of who i am and who i strive to be cannot be captured by a few random responses to a few random questions.i mean,stereotypes just don't slide onto me that easily.i can be the epitome of sunrays one minute and raindrops the next.

i dunno if that reflects inconsistency,i just think that i can be contradictory to what people think of me initially.and i encapsulate various elements and aspects.my itunes library in itself says as much.not to mention my book collection(which by the way has dwindled after my sorting and packing to come to singapore)my music library ranges from clay aiken and josh groban to mandy moore and natalie cole to linkin park and brian mcknight and jim brickman.ahh well,then again i guess loads of ppl ascribe to having wide and varied musical tastes.what i am trying to say is..what is it i am trying to say anyway?hee.maybe when i have time enough i will write a comprehensive report on myself as i know it instead of letting a few quizzes dictate what "element" i am and what kind of girl i am.bah.

anyways,my exams are looming nearer and nearer and..gasp.been sleeping more than i should in order to study like crazy.i refuse to say "mug".which apparently is the term that everyone in sg or NUS at least uses."mug mug mug"sheesh.not that i never knew what it meant but still when everyone says it in that manner it just becomes so..oh well.for me..i need to "STUDY".not mug.;) .as i told my mummy on the phone..(yes,i admitted it=p)i'm so not used to the way things are done here..the continuous assessment stuff with all the projects and essays which i take forever to do and end up with miserable "C's".aaarghh.i've always been the kind who can chalk up incredible study sessions like a month or less before exams to make up for the last like few months...but now consistency is imperative!!!!i sincerely vow to at least get the hang of it if not master this new methods by next semester.

my folks are coming right at the end of my finals.shall see them right after exams.even more to look forward too...sigh.i just wish i can get back all the steam i normally have to piah (piah is like a hokkien cooler version of "mug"=p) like crazee till then.can't wait to show my mum and dad and sister glimpses of my life and environment here.hope they don't get a shock.nothing shocking what right?this is uni life.i'm sure they do know what it's like.oh gosh...in less than 4 months i will be turning 21!!yipes.time flies.if there's one thing i've learnt more so than anything else,it's that the quotation "this too will pass" can be really helpful if you really grasp the esssence of it and ascribe to it.melodramatic me has many a time been thwarted by the looming obstacle right in front of me,seemingly holding me back from any semblance of peace and happiness and then time and God resolves it (along with other factors).days,weeks,months,years later you look back in retrospect realizing that it did pass and you've emerged stronger,wiser,and hopefully better..

pierce through every shade of darkness
sunshine through sunrays
blistering brightness
blinding brilliance

cast the storm aside
away
not even for another day
unless to cleanse
wash
refresh

melt every last tear
dry the rain
absorb the pain

sunrays without rain
yet another bane
no reprieve
no relief

raindrops without sun
drenches everyone
no warmth
all gloom


pattern is as such
embrace it as much
sunrays
and raindrops

what type of art are u?

Impressionist! Monet, Manet, Cezanne, oh my! You
appreciate light and color, and you feel a need
to express yourself and the world around you
very vividly yet individually. You are like no
one else!


WHAT TYPE OF ART ARE YOU?
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okie okie.last one for now..

what form of art are u?

You are Poetry.
You are often the most emotional of the arts. You
are introverted, in that you tend to let people
come to you rather than trying to get their
attention. You get along well with Music and
Literature.


What form of art are you?
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introvert???me???hahahahahahahahahahah

riight...ermm..i dun quite agree!

F:

Your Beauty lies
in Contradiction. Controversial, unpredictable, and
never what anyone expects.
You appearance and your personality are two
opposite things. Even your
appearance sends different signals to different
people. To some you may look
innocent and sweet, to others you look mysterious
and intimidating at the same
time. No one ever knows what to expect with you.
You are a little bit of
everything all mixed together. You can be watching
the football game with the
guys one minute and the next out shopping at the
mall. You seem to be almost a
different person every time you meet someone, but
at the same time you know
exactly who you are and there is always that one
thing that makes you you. You
enjoy keeping people guessing and people love how
completely unpredictable you
are.

Some Things
That Represent You:

Element:
Fire, Water Animal: Chameleon Color:
Dark Tones, Light
Tones Song: Everything by Alanis Morriesette
Expression:
Half-smile

Gemstone:
Opal Mythological Creature: Gryphon,
Half-breeds Sign:
Gemini Planet: Mars Hair Color: Red
Eye Color:
Brown

Quote:
"Appearances can be deceiving."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla

which literature classic are u?

Shakespeare: Sonnets. Everyone has heard of you,
and almost everybody can find something
touching in you. You are calm and control
yourself, even though your wisdom and your
messages are no lesser than those of others.


Which literature classic are you?
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what is my inner age..?;p

20's You are thinking more clearly than most
people... you can see the real world as it is,
you don't live in this fantasy place anymore
but you are not very mature, you are just fine,
perfect! :)


. What is you inner age?
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in the midst of voiceless whispers..

chatter builds up in endless circles all around me as i sit in my own world in the arts canteen.defiantly refusing to type with capitals.why is it that i avoid direct,honest prose sometimes.perhaps i don't want my blog to sound so hello kitty -diary-ish.dear diary,today i did this,went here,saw that,etc etc..and though i consider myself one who puts my whole self out there in open vulnerability,i still have a need to cling to a certain sheen of hidden truth.a distilled reflection of my actual thoughts.

anyways,my contemplation was interrupted by the arrival of my dear friend wooi min whom i had been waiting for.and we had lunch.and now we're in the lecture theatre.awaiting the final lecture before we break and are left to our own desperate attempts to grasp the historical significance of asia an dthe modern world.

more abstract thoughts next time....=)

someone who'll watch over me..?

the shine in your eyes
incandescent
the window through which your essence
shows itself
in all its beauty

a million shades of brilliance
a thousand hues of goodness
earnest in being true
to self

resplendent
in the comfort of being
you

you
who art so much
and yet projects such modesty

you
who gives so much
and yet remains a reservoir
brimming with substance

you
who glides
to the beat of your own heart
the rhythm of your soul

you
who frames
your stance distinct
among any other

you
who hypnotizes
mesmerises
endears



you
who will always be
more than just

you


(on a poetic rampage..in the midst of attempting to dissect the poetry of other poets..was inspired)