seven...

if who i am is what i have and what i have is lost..then who am i?
i recall being very fond of this particular quote.because it says so much.when ppl would ask me what i was good at,i used to think..hmm.writing.thats what i always believed cause thats what ppl told me.at least my grades back then reflected it too.but now..i dunno why..why?! why?! why?!...churning out an essay (a lit essay usually) in uni seems to be the one thing which sets me in a crazy state of frenzy,anxiety,agitation,inadequacy,depression,panic..etc etc and of course the word i hate using.."stress".this coming from the looming deadlines of 2 lit essays and 1 jap essay..not to mention having 2 presentations and a test in the same week.not to mention having to study for my finals which will be in 3 weeks time!!!!!!!!!!

sigh.this is not helping.so anyways,if i thought i could associate myself with being a good writer and now im not so sure anymore..then..? then..? then who am i? then what AM i good at anyways? i know.. cooking.hee.cooking is therapeutic.and living on my own, im free to try out whatever my imagination comes up with.budget being my only limitation.within a week i have attempted 3 new dishes..grilled fish on the bbq,oven baked macaroni special and..i marinated all the chicken for a block bbq tonight by sheer feel.maybe i should just drop out of uni and cook.but but.i thought i was smart .or at least i could be smart.it's just that its's....

IT'S APRIL!!!!!!!!oh gosh.it's sinking in.IT'S APRIL!!
that means finals start this month.and next month i'll be going home..for the holidays.where i'll be occupied with work..a whole new playground where stress prevails.*sweat*
the word scholarship is flitting at the top of my mind now..but no.shan't mention it...shan't...

can you believe it?in spite of all this...i'm happy=).seven is a special number.7 days in a week.7 wonders of the world.7 colours of the spectrum. etc etc.sigh.i have my own reasons to celebrate the number.and yet,gotta focus on the task at hand.tasksssss more like.

notice by this point im so unconcerned with what the general reading community will make of my blog.as in structure wise..is it artsy?does it sound philosophical..whatever.instead it's fragments of random thoughts..random crazy thoughts..




words cannot describe
nor begin
to depict
nor paint
the colours of this place

where all enmeshed
and intertwined
sun and rain and mess
sliver my batteredness
and scoop me up with glee
take it all away
and only make me see

the rainbow's seven hues
so brilliantly displayed
split to reveal its beauty
so pierce me too
that i may glimmer shine and gleam
and steal away from all that seems

words cannot unveil
nor attempt
to portray
nor freeze
the moments in this place